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antony and the johnsons
November 2009 
Is your birth name the name that's "yours"?
Posted on Sep 20th, 2009
by 
tara
tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for September 20, 2009:
The short answer: no.
-And if you really want to know: my birth name was bitten schelde hansen & growing up in the southern part of denmark, our lingo would suffer the occasional inspiration from german, so my first nick was bitschenlein which translates to lil bit. Not to be confused with the english word bitch, that particular nick was thrown in for good measure later. I'll get back to that. During college years I had the pleasure of being called baby face, benjamin cuz I was the youngest & bitschenlein morphed into bits.
I partly changed my sir name to my mother's maiden name a few years after my father died. His family were not the nicest people & I didn't feel comfortable being linked to that crowd, so I changed from schelde hansen to hansen bisgaard & out into the big world I went, bitten hansen bisgaard, still nicked as bits. I bumped into an australian on a ferry boat from brindisi to corfu & accidently married him a couple of years later. This caused another name change to bitten bisgaard griffiths, my nick to shorten into bit with a certain someone occasionally adding -ch. The name bitten also had the fun sideeffect of making aussies burst into spontaneously singing 'once bitten, twice shy', what a hoot that was.. the first few mths.
The aussie prince eventually morphed into a frog & my name got buffed down to bitten bisgaard. Legally, the hansen bit was still there, but only used when signing official papers. 'Keeping it simple' was slowly sliding into my life, to be followed by a nationwide trend of cutting one's sir name down to a letter, which made me bitten b. for a while. My first name had long ago lost it's appeal to me due to the lack of meaning behind it. Appearently it's a french nick for brigitte & that's all there is to it. I'd been toying with names like Cecilia & a variety of old nordic names, none of which really felt like me. I find that changing one's first name to be a rather big deal, (although not legally, in dk it's easy & free), there's a specific energy attached to a name so it has to be a snug fit.
I chose my current name after having gone through a long dark night of the soul. The tibetan goddess of compassion, greenheart tara, was my inspiration. Emerging from the muddy waters into a new beginning called for a symbolic ritual. The major new insight being the knowledge that it was high time to start treating myself with kindness & compassion, tara is the perfect reminder to keep doing just that. I found my snug fit. Some of you do notice that I write my name with a t rather than a T ( thank you for that, big letters come across to me as somewhat bombastic aka less aesthetic, hence the choice). I decided to alert the less observant by using the monicker 'tara -with a little t' a while back & some witty gais still call me little t on occasion. cute.
To get on the good side of my grandmother (she dislikes change as much as I adore it), I added rosted to my name. It means quiet place & I quite like that. It's her mother's middle name, but it had no effect. She still calls me bitten with a stubborn frown. So much for that. tara rosted bisgaard. I don't use rosted much, pronounced in english with a hard d, (in danish it's a soft d like the spanish one) it sounds like roasted & makes me think of chicken. Try not to think of chicken when you say the word rosted.
- Amazing what's in a name, it's really just a word, a compilation of letters, a form, a sound, & can also hold a lot of meaning in one's mind as it does in mine. I love my name, the way it sounds & makes me feel, & mostly that I chose tara for me.
Antony And The Johnsons 'Kiss My Name' 2009
Access: Public
Hey Sweet tara,
I so enjoyed reading you post first thing this morning with my first fresh cup of java. I was with you every step of the way as you evolved into your name “tara”. Your story had so many twists and turns with the Danish language and meaning of words. Your choice of “tara” is a beauty and is soyou.
Your story gave me some ideas of how I can answer today's question.
Thanks for the morning's wonderful read.
(((hugs))) mimi (with a small “m”)
I love this story about your name, but I love you more
heyy you gorgeous gais, thank you for your lovely comments, you light up my life & make my heart sing : ) big love & hugs to you both.
i love this story too, tara. i changed my name once. you're right. it was hard. i think all were relieved when i changed it back. but it still follows me everywhere, to this day, in my heart, and in my online life …
diamondlil
te amo tara.
~d (now I know why it's always a little d. I didn't know til I read this. :-)
diamondlil is a perfect name for you imho. I recall when you were on facebook & I saw your 'real' name, that I couldn't make it fit you ;-) I hope you changed it back for your own sake, I think people who suffers the delusion that they have a right to frown upon other's choices, are to be ignored..in the kindest way pos ofcuz.
dawn, jeg elsker osse dig : ) what's dawn in spanish btw?
ps: pardon the late reply, I somehow missed the notifications for yr comments <3
I was Lily for a solid year despite what everyone said so when I went back to my birth name it was my decision and felt right. But Lily has always stayed with me in many ways and always will. Lily is the little girl in me that I try to keep alive in healthy ways and Lil is the tough and sassy part of me that I'd like to inhabit more than I do. I figure between the three of us in here we reflect all our Cancer and Gemini part ; )