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beauty truth reality
December 2009 
this little light of mine
Posted on May 20th, 2009
by 
tara
tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 20, 2009:
what do you not like to look at? are you afraid of your own greatness,
your own potential? what secrets do you hide even from yourself?
My thighs can be rather scary to look at, depending on the angle & amount of light thrown in their direction. Apart from that, I've quite taken a liking to looking at what I do not like. I do not like keeping secrets from myself (which in this context, I interprete as meaning anything I keep wrapped out of fear.) It's in the examination & understanding of inhibiting beliefs, the path to one's potential & greatness is found. I've been blessed with the opportunity of observing people who keep secrets from themselves & saw how fear of being real caused hearts to close, souls to crumble & bodies to harden in emotional rigidity... A valuable lesson indeed.
There is nothing to be afraid of & the only way to know that is to look & to keep looking. The shadow holds as much of one's potential as any other human qualities. Whatever lurks in hidden places, looses it's negative power when the light of acceptance is shed upon it. That's no secret I know, highly unlikely to find a self help book these days that doesn't contain that very sentence. And it's true, I'm telling ya...Yes, the egomind says otherwise, it learned to label some things good & strong & other things weak & bad.
Fear teaches us that & it's a lie. Believing it adds guilt & vupti, the wellknown combo called shame rules perception. Let that fester for a while & it turns poisonous with an uncanny ability to nibble away on one's authenticity & power... Not to mention the devastating effect it has on one's personality, poisonous shame shows it's face as passive aggressive reactive patterns, judging others & or a variety of negative projections hurled at who ever happens to be within range. Not a pretty picture & so accurate a reflection of how we treat ourselves when we don't want to look at what we don't like.
Loooking for the treasure of truth is a marvelous practice, dance with the demons & they become friends. The more it's done, the easier it becomes to do with an open curious mind. Familiarity breeds acceptance & the ability to truly love every bit of oneself... I'm not afraid of my potential & greatness, but I have been afraid of what could happen when flaunting it. An unhealthy loyalty to the crumbled souls mentioned above did prevent me from getting real & looking for the switch that turns on my light. Doing that meant betraying them & everything they stand for, risking shining brighter & loosing their love.. And sometimes worst case scenarios do happen & sometimes it's the best thing that can happen.
Bj?rk Wanderlust Complete Video
photo: universe as symphony orchestra by dawn dexter
Access: Public
In black and blue I reveal my bumps and bruises
and they stand out in the metabolism of intelligent
awareness. The power of the darkness is both heavy and light
and the difficulty of sorting out the peace from the wicked
becomes the mingling of what it means to be perfectly human.
Labels are just distractions and mind tricks
that slows the inner unfolding.
I applaud your bravery in tackling this question. My little bit here is all Im good for today. Great paring as always.
“An unhealthy loyalty to the crumbled souls mentioned above did prevent me from getting real & looking for the switch that turns on my light. Doing that meant betraying them & everything they stand for, risking shining brighter & loosing their love.. And sometimes worst case scenarios do happen & sometimes it's the best thing that can happen.” Wow! this just jumped off the screen at me. I've felt that and then come to terms with it. And what a freedom feeling comes along. and also sometimes – pain when one of the crumbled souls lashes out to try to put us back in what was a comfortable place for them. oh. this is poignent this morning. thank you.
and what a pleasant surprise to see one of my photos here. I”m deeply honored.
jordan – I love what you've written here as well.
“Not to mention the devastating effect it has on one's personality, poisonous shame shows it's face as passive aggressive reactive patterns, judging others & or a variety of negative projections hurled at who ever happens to be within range. Not a pretty picture & so accurate a reflection of how we treat ourselves when we don't want to look at what we don't like.”
a dagger to the root of the problem. beautifully insightful dear tara!
thank you.
peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'
oh elaine. I like “freedom must be exercised to stay in shape”. now I'll have to wonder if it's really true for awhile and I'll have to wonder which is the shape of freedom and I'll have to wonder how to exercise freedom. what a tantalizingly provocative statement. I love it! ;-)
thank you Jordan, your 'little bit' has quite the impact.. I love it ..'and the difficulty of sorting out the peace from the wicked becomes the mingling of what it means to be perfectly human..' what a delicate describtion, that's excactly what going from looking with resistance to stop meddling with the experience has been like for me.
Dawn, yay! surprise accomplished : ) your photos are divine & this one holds a special lure for me.. it kinda begs to be looked at real close for secrets to be unveiled as clouds float by. The image popped up in my mind when listening to bjork & together they say to me, keep looking, get to the core & you'll hear the symphony play the universal dance : ) and yes! to the feeling of freedom that comes along when coming to terms with what is..freedom to breathe deeply, creating space to be with pain..& letting it go.
elaine, I'll second Dawn here, I too am intrigued by your signature line & have pondered it when visiting your blog. I know i've exercised freedom quite a bit in the outward sense as in seeking independence & come to realize it being a projection of wanting freedom in the inward sense, looking for balance & peace.. I'd love to hear your thoughts behind the statement.