The question who are we? cannot be answered by way of describing it with words & since I'm going to anyway, let me begin with the common one.. Inquirying into who am I? is mostly an inquiry into who am I not? The ego mind believing in the illusion of seperation describes by way of comparison. When shedding the layers of the onion, realizing that 'I' am not 'me' or my ideas, beliefs, values, thoughts, labels, roles, body, a vast space opens... A space which may at first feel like emptiness & not in a cool way as long as the ego is at play, frantically looking for something to hold on to for proof of existence. When that illusion is realized & the emptyness embraced, the vastness of space begins to feel vibrating, alive, a pulsating field of energy... A word to describe it could be consciousness, an infinite form, an inner & outer pulse, a connectedness with another something not possible to describe. That another something could be we or god or love... It's like describing what is love or what is god? Any words used will do the opposite, distance us from the understanding of, just naming it love or god, transforms it into a concept, something looked at from the outside & again, to a large degree described by what it is not....Who am I, who are we? cannot be described, bc when trying to, one has to hold on to it, freezing the frame & when doing that, it disappears. Who we are is an experience, experienced in total surrender to the reality of now, like flowing through a dance where the dance dances you, me, us, we.

I see a projection of myself reflected in others & recognize our sameness, our humanness beneath the skin & often also the sparkles that shines through from the heart of our souls. 

The image reflected back to me is distorted as all perception is projection & nothing I can depend on as a true image of myself. It is however very useful when it comes to understanding my projections & when interacting, I gain knowledge into how another see me through their projections. When the other is consciously holding the mirror aka confrontimg me with their reflections of me, the mirror becomes a playground & an opportunity for growth. Doing this requires the ability to witness oneself in a neutral, detached mode & when both can do that, the image reflected becomes clearer & amazing things start happening. Holding the space with an honest open heart, a true meeting can occur. A meeting with oneself & each other in a trusting embrace of what is. The light & the darkness that makes us so alive, alike & so very unique at the same time.

And apart from the psychobabble, another essential detail about mirroring is that somebody outside myself is reflecting a living changeable image of me back to me. It provides me with a witness, a proof of my existence beyond reflections within & the 'still leben' of looking into a mirror.

Apart from what may be frolicking about in the murky waters beyond the reach of my current capacity, I work consciously to uncover, understand & integrate all parts of me into a congruent whole. I've been using different therapies over the years & found them to be great tools for gaining knowledge & acceptance of what my personality is about. 

Well, right now, sitting on my patio, i'm feeling rather sensitive to the sound coming from downstairs of an old sick man coughing up his lungs, going on 20 minutes now. I'm still not used to the sound although it's happening every day. In between coughing fits he manages to keep an argument going with his wife, another everyday happening. Apart from the days where the amount of wine consumed, exceeds his ability to stay awake. I cherish those moments of sheer silent bliss on my patio. 

My thighs can be rather scary to look at, depending on the angle & amount of light thrown in their direction. Apart from that, I've quite taken a liking to looking at what I do not like. I do not like keeping secrets from myself (which in this context, I interprete as meaning anything I keep wrapped out of fear.) It's in the examination & understanding of inhibiting beliefs, the path to one's potential & greatness is found. I've been blessed with the opportunity of observing people who keep secrets from themselves & saw how fear of being real caused hearts to close, souls to crumble & bodies to harden in emotional rigidity... A valuable lesson indeed. 

There is nothing to be afraid of & the only way to know that is to look & to keep looking. The shadow holds as much of one's potential as any other human qualities. Whatever lurks in hidden places, looses it's negative power when the light of acceptance is shed upon it. That's no secret I know, highly unlikely to find a self help book these days that doesn't contain that very sentence. And it's true, I'm telling ya...Yes, the egomind says otherwise, it learned to label some things good & strong & other things weak & bad. 

Fear teaches us that & it's a lie. Believing it adds guilt & vupti, the wellknown combo called shame rules perception. Let that fester for a while & it turns poisonous with an uncanny ability to nibble away on one's authenticity & power... Not to mention the devastating effect it has on one's personality, poisonous shame shows it's face as passive aggressive reactive patterns, judging others & or a variety of negative projections hurled at who ever happens to be within range. Not a pretty picture & so accurate a reflection of how we treat ourselves when we don't want to look at what we don't like.

Loooking for the treasure of truth is a marvelous practice, dance with the demons & they become friends. The more it's done, the easier it becomes to do with an open curious mind. Familiarity breeds acceptance & the ability to truly love every bit of oneself... I'm not afraid of my potential & greatness, but I have been afraid of what could happen when flaunting it. An unhealthy loyalty to the crumbled souls mentioned above did prevent me from getting real & looking for the switch that turns on my light. Doing that meant betraying them & everything they stand for, risking shining brighter & loosing their love.. And sometimes worst case scenarios do happen & sometimes it's the best thing that can happen. 

 photo: universe as symphony orchestra by dawn dexter 

I like to ask myself:

are you paying attention?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

(bonus questions:)

where are you right now?

what are you experiencing right now?

are you bringing awareness into the present moment? 

are you being real?

bonus questions are from the unfolding now by a.h.almaas