enthusiastically so

Posted on Mar 7th, 2009 by

tara

This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 07, 2009:

What's the quickest way to get you excited or fired up about a project or an idea or an experiment? What inspires you? Love? Growth? Service? What can you count on to spark your enthusiasm? What motivates you most?

Of the six basic human needs, consistency, inconsistency & making a difference being the other three, growth has been a main mover & shaker for me throughout the bigger part of my life. Any project, idea or experiment that holds the possibility for me or others to learn & expand, is inspiring to me. I'm enthusiastic per se & curious with a passion, it doesn't take much to get me fired up. How my desire for growth has come to express itself, has varied greatly & been influenced by any of the five other needs & the life stages I've been going through.

Naturally, needs change according to where one is at in life. Being a lil one, consistency is more important than being of service, which tends to show up more when the needs for defining one's personality & seeking a love connection has been fulfilled. Making a difference had me all excited in my idealistic youth with a desire to change the politics & prefarebly the world while I was at it. Alas, the bureaucracy proved to wear this impatient woman down or was it falling in love that took over & made me turn my life upside down, like fx forgetting about an education & run off to set up camp on the other side of the world? I've never been big on consistency, the excitement of change seems far more interesting.

Coming of age, possibly even maturing, is however creating an opening for consistency to play a part. I am slowly softening in regard to some kind of stability, the fear of turning into a stale lil cupcake is lessening as my experience is letting me know, it is possible to keep growing & changing within, without major outward manifestions. Like the need to make a difference no longer means attempting to change the world asap, but more realistically, having a positive impact on my immediate surroundings.

My biggest fear is limitations & as I'm driven by moving toward pleasure rather than being forced by pain, my first inclination is to think that anything is possible. Nothing is more debilitating for me than letting negative thoughts onto the scene. I can litterally drain myself for energy & become paralyzed rather quickly. It's paramount to set my intention based on what I want rather than what I don't want. I think the clarity of intention overrules the desire to fulfill a need when it comes to sparks flying in motivational ways. The power of positive thinking keeps me in the light & motivates me to move mountains. As I get older, I might even become patient enough to move that mountain with a spoon.

John Mayer - Clarity

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Tagged with: QaR, motivation, passion, excitement, purpose

a hidden hello

Posted on Mar 21st, 2009 by

tara

This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 21, 2009:

It's the first day of Spring!

Where do you see spring in your life?

What is being remade anew? What is coming alive?

I touched the buds on the chestnut tree in my grandmother's garden yesterday & strolled around the appletrees that are waiting for their spring wake up call. I was there to say goodbye to her place where she has lived my entire life, where she has had 4 children & said goodbye to her husband when he died almost 25 yrs ago.

She sits in her chair & looks a little lost. Talking to her about a new beginning in a new home doesn't quite get her eyes to light up & the notion that a smaller & more modern place will be easier & more comfortable for her, didn't exactly made her jump & down with joy either. She wanted to draw her last breath under that roof & the universe has another plan for her.

There is a hello to something new hidden in a goodbye & I wonder if her soul will want to hear it & move with her body & her things & settle into her new home. Her sadness & frailty, so overwhelming in the moment, that all I could do was to sit with her in a silent farewell to a place that holds a lifetime of memories. For me a goodbye to a symbol of consistency in a life of many changes, a safe haven, a place of happy childhood moments.

The hello hidden in the process of letting go, embracing the safe haven within where all that came before are wowen into what comes next. The first day of spring with a smell of change in the air. A perfect day for goodbye & hello to a new day of moments to be lived & breathed into the heart of now where everything comes alive in a spark of joy.

Here Comes The Sun

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Tagged with: QaR, spring, march, equinox, rebirth, newness, seasons

a thinking heart

Posted on Mar 22nd, 2009 by

tara

This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 22, 2009:

How do you keep your heart open?

Let me tell you my secret, it is quite simple:

Only with the heart can you really see. The essential is invisible to the eye.

The essential is invisible to the eye, repeated the little prince to better remember it..

(Antoine de saint Exupery, le petit prince)

All perception is projection & while I can't live without the ego, I can live without the unconscious projections of the ego mind. Whatever quality in another that triggers a reaction in me, will be a quality I posses, whether it be one I'm utilizing, would like to have or don't like. The more I practice observing myself from the neutral vantagepoint of being my own witness, the more I learn when observing the projections percieved when relating.

As long as the ego mind gets away with labelling any quality as either god or bad, one's perception will be distorted & sure enough, anything I don't like in myselfs, I won't like in another. Likewise, the positive projections percieved, as in the qualities I resonate with because I like them in myself, can make it easy for me to love another when that is all I choose to see. And difficult if I believe I don't have those admirable qualities but would like to. There is no clarity, being or real love in a projection based relation because it is not possible to be centered in the heart & projecting at the same time.

If I live my life with a greater emphasis on the dimensions of my personality & stay unconscious about the destructive energy I send out in the shape of projections & negative thoughts, I add to the shadow of the collective consciousness & cast a shadow on my own personality & potential. A shadow that closes my heart with fear. The collective consciousness is a pulsating field of energy which reflects the energy each of us contributes to & sends it back to us in concentrated form. When I tune into the heart energy, it's felt in the energy field I share, like when meditating in a group or a get together with loved ones to celebrate a joyous event. The more I focus my attention on the heart energy, the stronger it will resonate within & without.

When I choose to be spacious & accepting of what is instead of judging & denying, I shine the light of awareness on the archetypical destructive forces that are my shadow. Everything is energy & becoming responsible for & observing of all that I am, the positive & the negative, allows me to flow with the stream of consciousness, to be in & think with my heart. The more centered I am in the heart energy, the less I project. When moving my focus from the ego to the heart, I open myself up to an already existing & vast space of compassion, accept & love for myself & others. The journey from the solar plexus to the heart chakra is in the physical sense just a babystep of 10-12 cm & figuratively speaking, a lenghty process of waking up & becoming aware of percieving with my heart for me to stay open & centered.

oh & do read this great poem of gratitude by dawn, [ ode to a heart ],

I find it goes really well in combination with the meditation below.

All is full of love

I also enjoy this meditation to keep the heart open:

Focus your attention on your physical body.

Repeat silently 3 times: I am aware of my entire body.

Visualise your body as if it is a temple..you spend your entire life in this temple..

Know that your body is a blessing, a great gift.

Now, focus on your breathing.

Repeat silently 3 times: I am aware of my breathing.

Feel how your breathing is your best friend.. make yourself comfortable with this friend that is always with you. The closer you are to your breathing, the greater your feeling of inner peace..

Focus your attention on your heart..breath into this space, into your heart..

here is the source of unconditional love which supports your entire being.

While you breathe into your heartspace, feel how you are surrounded by this love like a mother holding her child.. release & let go of tension when you exhale.

Repeat silently 3 times: I am aware that my heart is opening.

Your heart is like a flower opening in the sun..visualize a red rose in your heart ..see the petals, the color.. sense the smell..see the rose unfold while you breathe into your heart.

Know that your true being is pure loving energy.

Your love is your healing.. feel the energy that carries the earth..the trees.. flowers..animals..the oceans..the stars..& the sky. You are one with the universe through your heart..there is no seperation. While you love yourself, the universal love will give you nourishment & support.

Repeat silently 3 times: my body is my temple..my breathing is my friend..

my heart is open & loving..I am pure love.

Your life is a precious gift..that you will cherish always.

Feel the peace & joy of this love.

When you are ready, take a deep breath, stretch gently & open your eyes..

(- the meditation is from unconditional love, how to live with an open heart in a changing world by ed & deb shapiro)

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Tagged with: QaR, heart, love, openness, world, compassion, love is the answer, ego fear projection, fab vids, bjork

going home

Posted on Mar 23rd, 2009 by

tara

This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for March 23, 2009:

what are the benefits from turning inward and exploring your interior self?

what do we gain from going within?

why look within?

[ seldom seen ]

How could I not, my answers lie within, to know the truth about myself is finding my way back home. My life's purpose is growth & looking at myself with honesty, knowing myself deeply is the way to inner peace & freedom. My life has value when i'm able to reveal my own self deception & manifest the truth in the heart of my soul. Looking at my story, understanding my motives & emotions, enables me to grieve & heal my wounds. Every knot that comes undone frees up space for my potential to frolick about with a passionate curiosity for this life. When I have a deep connection with myself, I experience an inner harmony, I'm able to share my truth & contribute by inspiring. Recognizing my own brilliance, looking for the pearl within, makes it possible for me to see your brilliance. The path to truth becomes one of compassionate sharing who we are in the core of our hearts, I think the greatest gift we can give each other during this human experience. And It's said that knowing oneself at the deepest level is to know god. I'm kinda curious about that too.

one does not become enlightened

by imagining figures of light,

but by making the darkness conscious.

carl jung