acceptance
October 2008 
some words make walls crumble
Posted on Jul 24th, 2008
by 
tara
tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for July 24, 2008:
....sometimes in conversation we don't really listen, but instead just wait our turn to speak. When was the last time you really listened to someone? What did you learn?
[ some words make walls crumble ]
I listened the last time someone spoke with me..
The difference between listening & really listening still eludes me; Apart from that, to me the ability to listen to others, begins with being able to listen to oneself. Falling into the trap of waiting for one's turn to speak, I find is not only disrespectful towards the person gracing me with their presence, but also a sign that my need to be listened to is not being met;
A need which is my responsibilty & one I believe comes from not listening to & appreciating myself. If I can't give that to me, I will look to others for fullfillment. Being preoccupied with getting what I need, get's in the way of connecting & being present with more than just my reactive self listening.
I stay grounded & centered by asking myself questions & opening my mind in meditation to stay curious with a passion. I feel safe & comforted when accepting what is. I do need to remind myself from time to time, what really is important to me; When I do that, I feel fully alive, whole & loved. This lil cocktail automatically moves my ego & her best friend, my reactive self out of the control room to allow space for my higher self to roam about in the tender mode of selfcare & with appreciation of another giving me the joy of their presence..
[ embrace ]
the last time I was spoken with..
was in the form of a letter
as a response to my words.
I had let my ego run wild
in a state of selfpity & hurt,
feeling unloved & insecure.
I was reminded of being with what is,
embracing my emotionel turmoil &
appreciating the beauty of the moment;
Not by given advice on how to,
but by being listened to.
I felt the embrace of acceptance.
The response was a sharing
of her precious moments
of overwhelming love & pain,
all within the grasp of a breath.
The beauty of reality
in the words written to me,
shared with an open heart
brought me back to me.
I was able to let it flow and let it go,
to once again be fully present
in the moment..
thank you melady b.. tara <3
Bliss - Quiet Letter
Access: PublicTagged with: QaR, listening, groovy tunes, bliss, love for gais and gaia, acceptance, appreciation, beauty truth reality
Oh love, one thing that I'm hearing deeply from you (from all that you post) is that you are a lover of beauty! And not that the rest of us don't “love beauty”, but you bring us beauty and are present in a most beautiful way, and I love hearing the beauty that you bring! You touch me. Your beauty inspires.
I work a lot with the concept of listening, and this is a–well, there I go again: beautiful (was the word that came first to mind) blog on listening. Would you care if I shared it with my students? Working with people around listening, I've found one of the revelations and motivators people discover, as they get happier about 'listening,' is that empathy is a huge motivator. Getting people to think about “Why are they saying this?” “Why are they saying it this way?” and “What are they not saying?” A process of awakening, an invitation to be more alive! Here's a quote I'd love to share:
Empathy is the bond that connects us, helping us to think before we act, motivating us to reach out to someone in pain, teaching us to use our reasoning powers to balance our emotions, and inspiring us to the most lofty ideals to which human beings can aspire. Without empathy we would roam this planet like so many disconnected bits of protoplasm, bumping into each other and bouncing off…awake but unfeeling, aware but uncaring, filled with emotions but having no means of understanding or influencing them.
–Arthur Ciaramicoli, 1997
Martha, thank you soo much for your words to me. I'm quite overwhelmed. And yes, you read me well, I am a lover of beauty. Certainly in the aesthetic sense, the abundance of beauty surrounding me for my eyes to dwell on, my nose to smell & my hands to touch, the beauty of reality. I find the beauty of humans dazzling my senses the most. It is breathtaking when a heart opens & shares freely in the embrace of our diversity & uniqueness. Nothing surpasses the beauty of souls when their energy touch & melt together..
A divine quote, thank you for sharing with me.. So very true, we would indeed be roaming about disconnected & bouncing off without empathy. Yes, that is what the embrace of acceptance is to me…the very platform for connecting & as AC says, an inspiration for our more lofty ideas. We do aspire to love & working on opening our hearts is a way to get there, & still, love between humans is entwined in so much emotional stuff like projections, inhibiting beliefs & our need to be mirrored, it can be hard to tell when the love is real.
You are most welcome to share my writings with your students, I'd be deeply honored. Flabbergasted is another words that comes to mind as I am selfconscious & slightly inhibited by my second language handicap.. I guess I can allow myself to chill on that issue a bit.
Yes! getting people to think & wanting to listen with an open mind is the way to go.
There is a slight danger with the word why imo, esp when one does not ask the person directly & even when, sometimes. Why can really only be answered with because, which in turn may lead us to draw conclusions & or answer in absolute terms, thus leading us to create specific beliefs. Then again, a direct question to anyone hiding something from themselves, is often percieved as an attack & causes defensiveness in return.
That said, I find it very useful to ask myself what may be the underlying beliefs for this person to be saying what they are saying? What is their truth? It keeps me open & curious & helps me to not assume that I know. It is oh so easy to assume, it is like wrapping oneself in a blanket of security cuz we feel safe when we think we know.
Esp in regard to our own beliefs. I've certainly managed to scare me when I began to listen to what I was saying & asking myself those questions. There can be so much planted in our minds from which we operate with little awareness on, that I sometimes think it is a miracle when we do manage to connect from heart to heart in wanting to understand each other.
The sheer volume of what you have written is almost overwhelming…I pick at pieces and savor them…seeing time and time again what a brilliant funny amazing human you are.
Thank you for being you bc it has made being here all that much better!
melady b, you are a delight & a special flower in my heart.
This quote just landed in my mailbox, perfect timing. you make my wall crumble ;-)
Intimacy means that we're safe enough to reveal the truth about ourselves in all its creative chaos. If a space is created in which two people are totally free to reveal their walls,
then those walls, in time, will come down.
marianne williamson