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beliefs
November 2009 
hausfrau mode
Posted on Jul 25th, 2008
by 
tara
tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for July 25, 2008:
....what might you learn to live without, and why?
[ things I can live without ]
I'm mighting a lot as we speak, keeping it simple is my goal of the year and a work in progress. Clearing space inside and outside my head is a step on the way for me to break patterns which clutters up my living. Those small clusters of ingrown beliefs are a challenge indeed, like having decided that I do not like to do the dishes. A way of thinking categorized under the I do not want to grow up theme and although deeply cherished as a theme, this bit is a dilemma. Eating straight from the cooking pot is soo not sophisticated.
I am working on displaying the dishes in an artistic manner to call it an installation. Alas, still a rather long way from competing with dead pigs in montres and goldfish in blenders. I got that cute lil washing bowl for xmas and it does make doing the dishes a little more fun! It is said the color red increases energy levels. I guess not in every case. And by the look of things, I might be in need of the latest rendition instead. My last resort before succumbing to just doing it on a daily basis is to keep an inhouse man again to do the dishes. I'm in high spirit thinking Yes I can! Like Obama, I believe in the natural occurence of miracles.
simplicity is the ultimate sophistication
leonardo da vinci
Tom Waits - I Don't Want To Grow Up
Access: PublicTagged with: QaR, hausfrau mode, letting go, keep it simple, fab vids, tom waits, great quotes, beliefs, space clearing
A roomie of mine from a long time ago told me a story about letting her dishes go for so long that she decided it would be the easiest to just put them all in the bathtub and wash them there, which she did.
I've finally settled on a self-imposed rule that the sink has to be clean at night before I go to bed. Otherwise my ability to ignore a few dishes nicely rinsed and stacked and waiting quickly leads to not being able to find a clean cup or spoon or possibly the kitchen counter or maybe even the kitchen itself.
I have never owned a dishwasher. I think they seem brilliant though.
I don't like doing dishes either..i do them bc I don't feel comfortable when the sink has stuff in it…and there are four of us here.
I found that if I do them right away they tend not to build up and then become an overwhelming task that is sure to set me fleeing for the door in an attempt at denial.
I owned a dishwasher once and found myself taking more time preparing the dishes to be washed than if i just washed them in the sink…that said if someone came into my home and offered to do the dishes i think i'd cry with joy…or relief it just never ends …those damn dishes…and the ever elusive holy grail an empty sink.
If we lived close I'd offer to do yours :-)
Jeannie, I am pondering that very rule, no access to the sink would inhibit my eating habits greatly. I think the rinsing & piling is excactly where my best intentions seem to stumble. I'm a great stacker & even though I keep the amount of eating devices at an absolute minimum, I am seen to do the fleeing for the door denial attempt that Bridget mentions &
go hello coffeeshop instead.
I like the bathtub story & it might just be for my own good that I didn't get one last time I moved. I knew a couple once who would stack their dishes in laundry baskets & go to a friends place to use his dishwasher. It is comforting to know that there are people out there who will take it a step further tsk.
Bridget, I'm not keen on the dishwasher either, still traumatized from early days having my control freak of a mom breathing down my neck when filling up; Cups has to turn with ears the same way to be cleaned! .. maybe the question of distance boils down to a matter of perception..I'll put the kettle on & if you leave now, when do you think you can get here?
thich nhat hanh has written about the zen of dishwashing….sometimes I get there.
what is it about dishes? I too struggle to keep my sink an open space. what has helped somewhat was when I left home (i.e. 22year marriage) last year, I moved into a very small apartment which has about 3 feet of counter space. try to cook that yummy thai curry whilst avoiding yesterday's fajita remains….yikes! and still it seems to pile up with more frequency than I'd like to admit.
Hmmmm….the idea of creating an art exhibit…maybe I'll just start taking picures and add them to my haiku blog;-) art is art, right?
hugs!
I so agree here, and have read about the zen of doing dishes….I do like to iron. that is zen for me.
I'll come over and do your dishes and iron, can you make supper and write my paper?
:)
PS. if you discover the secret of getting a man to do the dishes for you, please enlighten me! They seem to require a lot of maintenance, but some of them look good in an apron.
Oh Aley, I'll write your paper (although no guarantee on the results or even that it will be on topic) and I don't mind doing other people's dishes for some reason (I think it helps me feel like the good fairy if I'm doing it for someone else), but could someone stop by and take out the recycling that I can't seem to keep up with? The city wants it to be fastidiously separated but in my kitchen it's all just one pile in a basket and then sorting it becomes a fussy, dull job and involves somehow getting the recycling past the dogs who really really want to play with those lovely things that smell like they used to be food.
thanks Jeannie…!
I'm coming over i wish….!!!!!!
“I don't mind doing other people's dishes for some reason (I think it helps me feel like the good fairy if I'm doing it for someone else),”
yup!
I have two bins…I put paper and plastic into one and tin metal whatever with glass into the other
what's really cool about this “system” is that anything that can be taken back for a deposit is taken by those that have the energy to do so.
I like this system bc it sort works for everyone. The recycling plant sorts anyways and the truck just dumps it all. Maybe I should sort it all but apparently the people who collect it don't seem to mind.
The zen of anything is probably there for the taking but often the need to do things gets in the way. I am always shifting between what I need to do and what i like to do a shuffle that is ever present depending on my mood.
That said ,I did a shitload of organizing today made all the sweeter by hubby washing the floors,and my children ecstatic at the process of helping us out.
Janet, yes he has, that lil monk is partly to blame for my feeling of being less than perfectly
spiritual when I glanze into my kitchen.. When you left home (i.e 22 years of marriage)?
he he I like that. My kitchen is small too, which means I'm a zen master when it comes to simplicity cooking. It is amazing what can be cooked in a wok only. I have black square japanese style dishes & they look great in piles. It would be art if it weren't for the empty pizza boxes stacked next to them..
…to your ps I'll say the secret lies is in the negotiation/persuasion skill. Make sure you are the ultimate best at the things you like to do, like cooking fx. (you know what they say: the way to a man's heart goes via his stomach..or somethingrather close by.) He is likely to gladly swop you for a great meal in turn for doing the dishes. It may take a bit of training, but hey, what doesn't? Meanwhile, one get's to gawk at the cute bum underneath that apron.
And yes, very important point you're making. One has to be ready for the high maintenance that comes with the installing of inhouse man. It is a must to deeply want to spoil him rotten.
Aley, Jeannie now we're talking..swopping chores is a great idea!
I'm not much of an ironing lover either. Vanity makes me do it though. One item at a time, when I've run out of the no need to iron stuff that is. The only straight thang about me might be what I'm wearing..god that joke was pathetic. Uhh I feel a marathon laundry day coming up. Anybody out there who loves to do laundry? (Not you, Bridget, I'm a little sus about your love for bleach)
If you gais are quick you might catch up with Bridget, she's is on her way over to do my dishes. I soo love cooking & writing..after enjoying my exquisite cooking skills, you might have to get the red pen out & do something about my use of grammar. And the recycling biz? is soo easy over here, I got four different bins right outside, yay! All I need is for them pizza boxes to sprout lil feet. tsk.
Hey! I LOVE doing the dishes! Really I do! I'm almost never in the mood to not do dishes! I love the clean soapiness of the bubbly warm water on the dishes and my hands, and making what was clearly on the way to being even less appetizing than it is now into something clean and sparkly and usable again! Ah! Dishes! But anyway, Tara your humor and intelligence lights up my days. Please keep writing, no matter what else you recycle!
uuhhh.. a doingthedishesluuver! Martha, what a great picture of the hidden pleasures in doing the dishes you are painting here.. perfect for a lil visualization exercise ..I'll do almost anything to keep me from doing the dishes & with no man in da house I can't really use the good old 'I had to have sex instead' excuse. Ok, I could, but some might find that I'd be giving away more information than they need to hear.
Thank you for your compliments, I'm growing taller by the day <3
..psst: what do you mean with what else I recycle? Have I written this piece earlier???
omg, I am coming down with an alzheimer's light ! ('o').. ( note to self: my name is tara ,
I look like like a lady bug & …& I think I just forgot what else I wanted to remind myself of..)
I do remember though that you promised me a new tag game, so I'm gonna be heading straight over to see what your great mind has come up with.. Come play gais!
ditto the love of doing dishes. I treat dishes like a sacred ceremony. It must be from my Army days. I was a cook for about 6 months and I learned to “clean as you go.” I don't much care for putting them away though. About a half hour ago I made my daughter some french toast for breakfast and the stuff is all cleaned up…even her syrupy plate that she handed me while I was hovering the sink. We have a dishwasher too…it's never used…why would I allow for a machine to steal my joy.
hmm… very interesting. Tom, do you think your wife would be ok with me cloning you?
and do you think your clone would be ok with doin them dishes in an apron only? ('o')
I would like a clone too please. And he should also possibly wear a feathered boa. Or maybe a boa constrictor. But the doing of dishes is the key part.
And Tara? You look like a ladybug???
Hey am I too late ? I brought some bleach ;-)
Not that I want to make you all jealous, but I am blessed to have a house help to do my dishes, except one day a week, like today. So I enjoy washing dishes once a week and if there are just a few every night, I do them myself! When I give parties, which is thank God just occasionally, I prefer to do the dishes (not the pots and pans) in a meditative way, playing with water and the bubbly washing liquid and whispering my prayer of gratitude for good company and the funtime with friends!
About training my hubby to wash the dishes, well some gentle coercion works or sometimes I gripe with my son how unhelpful his Dad is, and that works, too!
Jeannie, I think Tom's clone would look just fab in a feather boa & it occurs to me that when I change my icon I might not know who I am if i am in fact coming down with an alzheimer's light. Bridget, you must leave bleach outside lounge.. I have waay too many items of black clothing to risk it.. & Mila, I am a tiny bit envious, must say. I've had a house help too & come to think it, that could be why I've lost interest in the dishes.. What a blessing it was to be able to 'play hotel' every day, drop as you go & somebody else would clean up the mess.. Your facets of gentle coersion in regard to your hubby made me think of this piece by James Rosenquist..
apron…only if you tickle me with a feather duster.
hmmm, how about if we tickle you with a riding crop?
Get going on those dishes!
And fluff your apron while you're at it.
Meanwhile I'm all excited about the Tom Waits video…. I am an absolute TW fanatic. He'd probably look just fine in a boa and apron methinks - prob. been there done that. You might enjoy his “press conference” vid for his 2008 tour: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrG1r3S6ZA
he he.. an image of Tom fluffing his apron is now etched into my mind & yes, I'm all for swopping the feather duster. I do a mean tickle with a riding crop.
pehdtsckjmba! THANK YOU Namkha. I'm wild about Tom Waits too. He is right up top on my list of men with the most amount of oomph. ever. I give you this one with him in the company of another of my oomph men.
Boa,riding crop,apron…….. must wash hands must wash hands OMG OMG
Hyperventilating
slow down breathing
where's the bleach ;-)
On another note,naked dusting with just the apron and hubby………housework taken to a whole new level
HA! I just managed to sqeeze myself past the OCD'ing on that one. Mind you, my teethmarks are now etched into the table as I had to bite on not to slide off the chair.
I have no doubt whatsoever that yr hubby will luuv dusting if you go fluff yr apron on him ;-)