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What have you lost in your life?

Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 29, 2009:


a sizeable chunk of ego when I met humble

any hope of a better past when I forgave

myself in moments of little deaths

some ambition & certain desires

heels, keys, shades & patience

reason to momentary madness

friends, family, feeble notions

that grand illusion of control



the belief that anything

belonged to me

to begin with


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Tagged with: QaR, lost, letting go, giving up

weather for me

Posted on Jun 28th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 28, 2009:






hot hot hot is def a preference.. a 'whopping' 27 degrees is a happening in the land of denmark for an entire week, woo hoo! 

what I really like, is the kind of hot that wraps itself around me like a thick blanket. The tropical kind of hot, around 40 degrees with a humidity in the nineties, making it ever so effortless to just sit & sweat.. And when the heat becomes almost to heavy to bear in the afternoon, the sky opens & pours out a refreshing cascade of water for about half an hour. Just perfect! 

As I'm typing this, I'm thinking back of the time I lived in tambea, a small resort in the solomon islands.. My bungalow had no built in airconditioning, just equipped with a fan that made more noise than cool chillin. I worked as a diver & got to frolick about in the 30 degree warm water a couple of times a day, not much of a cooling effect there either.. It's many moons ago & still I recall the sensation of being in the midst of heavy humidity.. ooh, I love that kind of heat. 

Why I got to be a scandinavian is a mystery.. Someone might have had a misguided day of navigating when deciding where to plop me down on planet earth.



Marilyn Monroe: Heat Wave (1954)




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Tagged with: QaR, weather, climate, favorite

Why and how are you an inspiration?

Posted on Jun 20th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 20, 2009:




[ a calejdoscopian view ]



Showing up is a prerequisite for being an inspiration, something I've hardly done here for weeks. Words have not been flowing, my mind has been unruly, going off in all kinds of directions with the rest of me trying to keep up, feeling scattered more than anything. Trying to control a mind running rampant is ofcuz futile & excactly what I have been attempting. Resisting what is creates blockage in the creative veins. Some things are hard to learn & sometimes the greatest inspiration comes from figuring out what not to do by doing it.

Sharing my experiences, thoughts, feelings & tools for life that I've aquired on my journey is how I see myself being an inspiration. I've learned through feedback & listening to others, that the more fucked up one's life story is, the more potential one has for being an inspiration. I often find it's in the embrace of hardship & mistakes, aha moments occur. I'm a reframer inc. & I ask what can I learn from this experience, where's the gift? So far it seems I've found more pearls when cracking open the shells of tough moments than surfing on waves of bliss.

Why I am an inspiration is probably best answered by the ones who find me inspirational & luckily I happen to be one of them. Curiosity fuels my passion for this calejdoscopic conglumerate called life & my desire to understand the human experience. When we shine our light, we hold an open space for us to share the unique facets of our personalities & frolick in creativity.

Gangaji says be naked in the splendour of the truth of who you are. I find in that splendour of truth, in the raw, naked humanness we share when we are being true to ourselves, that inspiration flows in abundance. And I become an inspiration because I have the opportunity to be inspired by you being you.



Joni Mitchell-Hejira (Live in Japan)




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Where in your life are you happiest?

Posted on Jun 3rd, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for June 03, 2009:


There is only one where & when in my life which is reaL & that is here now. This kinda leaves me with nothing for comparison so I might just settle for momentarily happy. When I know where I am, present & aware, I feel sensations like a softness, openness. It's subtle & delicate, a feel of ease & stillness inside. Sometimes I'm not sure where the inside stops & the outside begins. Sometimes I feel a tingling, vibrating energy & I'm sure there are lil bubbles of joy floating about in the space in between. And sometimes the word lovely comes to mind & I smile.


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Tagged with: QaR, happiness, life, fulfillment, joy

a breeze of ease

Posted on May 23rd, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 23, 2009:

what are your favorite 15 minutes of the day?



[ cherish the moment ]




I've had my 15 minutes tee hee.. let them go in favor of moments &..

prefer to not indulge my ego's tendency to compare & rank some things better than others as I go about practicing being with what is as it is... but I do cherish the feeling of hereness, of being here right now, aware, calm & paying attention to whatever arises. I find that being present in itself holds a sweet, delicate texture of intimacy, an openness & sense of joy that transends or rather is detached from whatever I happen to be doing in the moment. Since I'm not beyond preferences, of craving certain activities more than others, I cheat... I appreciate the breeze of inner peace that flow through me during meditation & anchor the sensation in the minutes right after. When the feeling of restlessness comes over me, a feeling often linked to doings I'm not all that toffeed about, like fx doing the dishes, I activate my anchor & let the breeze flow over me. And it works, on some days... on other days I indulge & reward myself afterwards with something I cherish. tsk.



Sade - Cherish The Day (Video)





photo from flickr by sabine

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Tagged with: QaR, minutes, time, day, favorite times

a practice of presence

Posted on May 22nd, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 22, 2009:

what question would you like to be asked each day?



I like to ask myself:

are you paying attention?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

(bonus questions:)
where are you right now?
what are you experiencing right now?
are you bringing awareness into the present moment? 




are you being real?





bonus questions are from the unfolding now by a.h.almaas
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this little light of mine

Posted on May 20th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 20, 2009:

what do you not like to look at? are you afraid of your own greatness,
your own potential? what secrets do you hide even from yourself?  






My thighs can be rather scary to look at, depending on the angle & amount of light thrown in their direction. Apart from that, I've quite taken a liking to looking at what I do not like. I do not like keeping secrets from myself (which in this context, I interprete as meaning anything I keep wrapped out of fear.) It's in the examination & understanding of inhibiting beliefs, the path to one's potential & greatness is found. I've been blessed with the opportunity of observing people who keep secrets from themselves & saw how fear of being real caused hearts to close, souls to crumble & bodies to harden in emotional rigidity... A valuable lesson indeed. 

There is nothing to be afraid of & the only way to know that is to look & to keep looking. The shadow holds as much of one's potential as any other human qualities. Whatever lurks in hidden places, looses it's negative power when the light of acceptance is shed upon it. That's no secret I know, highly unlikely to find a self help book these days that doesn't contain that very sentence. And it's true, I'm telling ya...Yes, the egomind says otherwise, it learned to label some things good & strong & other things weak & bad. 

Fear teaches us that & it's a lie. Believing it adds guilt & vupti, the wellknown combo called shame rules perception. Let that fester for a while & it turns poisonous with an uncanny ability to nibble away on one's authenticity & power... Not to mention the devastating effect it has on one's personality, poisonous shame shows it's face as passive aggressive reactive patterns, judging others & or a variety of negative projections hurled at who ever happens to be within range. Not a pretty picture & so accurate a reflection of how we treat ourselves when we don't want to look at what we don't like.

Loooking for the treasure of truth is a marvelous practice, dance with the demons & they become friends. The more it's done, the easier it becomes to do with an open curious mind. Familiarity breeds acceptance & the ability to truly love every bit of oneself... I'm not afraid of my potential & greatness, but I have been afraid of what could happen when flaunting it. An unhealthy loyalty to the crumbled souls mentioned above did prevent me from getting real & looking for the switch that turns on my light. Doing that meant betraying them & everything they stand for, risking shining brighter & loosing their love.. And sometimes worst case scenarios do happen & sometimes it's the best thing that can happen. 




Bj?rk Wanderlust Complete Video





 photo: universe as symphony orchestra by dawn dexter 

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QaR blogathon day 30 woo hoo!

Posted on May 15th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 15, 2009:

where would you like to go deeper?
what would you like to investigate further? 
what areas of your life are calling you to explore more?



[ candy4u ]



What a brilliant question for today. This happens to be the last day of a 30 day QaR blogathon I decided to commit to with the intention of getting my creative juices flowing again. I find that showing up here for a daily reflection, is a great exercise for getting back into a flow, such a gift to have this opportunity for expression delivered in one's mailbox every day. Thank you Siona for providing the community with the Qar's, I absolutely adore this corner of Gaia. Also a VERY BIG THANK YOU to the gais in the blogathon gang, who took on the commitment to play along for 30 days. I've felt greatly supported & more so, very inspired by your blogs & your presence.

I came across this site recently, it looks like a fun place to go, at least virtually with all the stuff to click on. Try it out & imagine us going there for a lovely dinner & creative inputs, my treat ;-) I'm adding the song below, actually passing on a gift from Jeannie a while ago, that i've been humming along with quite a few times during the last month. Check out the bird & the bee, I find their way of expression to be very sweet & uplifting in between the more jazzy tunes I often listen to when writing. 

Back to the question, I would like to apply the habit of writing daily in english, onto exploring my creative abilities further by committing to the assignments in the diving deeper group for one. The poets workshop also has an intriguing appeal to it, I would so like to learn how to write a decent poem. These projects have been on my wanting to do list for quite some time. I have been stalling, my lazyness keeps pulling me into the comfortzone of the QaR. It's so much easier for me to respond to a specific questione than going freestyle in english. And too time consuming having to translate from first to second language. 

I'd also like to allocate more time to contemplate the QaR's. The times I've been doing that during the last month, has provided me with reflections I'm able to use in my personal process. My absolute fave area for going deeper & also an area that sometimes gets heavy & intense to deal with. I would really like for the flow of creativity that I've been tapping into again, to grow stronger & melt into other areas in my life where bursts of inspiration & lighthearted playfulness would be an über handy asset when investigating further.



The Bird and the Bee performs on Jimmy Kimmel Live





 photo from flickr by Katie

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What are you sensitive about?

Posted on May 14th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 14, 2009:

What topics or circumstances are you more sensitive about than others? What life experiences have helped you relate to others who've been through the same?



Well, right now, sitting on my patio, i'm feeling rather sensitive to the sound coming from downstairs of an old sick man coughing up his lungs, going on 20 minutes now. I'm still not used to the sound although it's happening every day. In between coughing fits he manages to keep an argument going with his wife, another everyday happening. Apart from the days where the amount of wine consumed, exceeds his ability to stay awake. I cherish those moments of sheer silent bliss on my patio. 

I'm also sensitive to the fact that my varying levels of annoyance chips away a lil on the amount of compassion & tolerance I am able to bring forth on the poor bugger's circumstance. However, meditating on the matter helps, esp when he is quiet tsk. I suspect he used to smoke and or drink a lot more than he does now, it's the kind of cough that spells cancer. And I suspect my annoyance is really a cover up for fear, as I used to smoke & drink a lot & there is likely still some self forgiving that needs to take place regarding that area of selfsabotage. And that's just one example of how my sensitivity gets triggered whenever I'm faced with an experience or circumstance I have projections on. 

I used to be highly sensitive to ignorance, narrowmindedness, selfrighteousness & lies. Again, meditation helps & esp the exercise of trading arrogance for humility. Now, I'm sensitive to the energy of another, whether it drains me or delights me. I'm fx. also sensitive to the news. The daily display of killings & people suffering from living under horrid circumstances gets to me, makes my heart cringe & sometimes I let the sadness overwhelm me. Good deeds done & love shared also gets to me, makes my heart sing, moves me to tears & fills me up with them lil bubbles of joy. So does being embraced in acceptance by a friend really listening. And having my feet tickled needs to be on the list as well.

 I'm gonna stop now cuz the second part of the question is equally huge. Or is it? What life experience hasn't helped me relate to others? Too big a mouthful to create a list of those, I'd be tapping away for like ever. Whatever the specific circumstance of an experience might be, we are not ever really going through the same, but it is the same emotions we experience.. oh, one experience does stand out, being honest with myself & owning my feelings has helped me relating to another from my heart without my own stuff getting in the way. And meditation, did I mention meditation?


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Who do you want to be when you grow up?

Posted on May 13th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for May 13, 2009:






   I don't want to grow up. ever. 


   I want to keep growing into the best version of me that I can possible be.
   And I want that best version to keep changing & falling deeper in love
   with the possibilities unfolding. I want to grow into a new day
   with my heart & eyes wide open, exploring & pursuing
   my potential & purpose with joy & a curious passion.




Tom Waits - I Don't Want To Grow Up





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