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What, for you, has been the best thing about getting older?

Posted on Nov 2nd, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for November 02, 2009:

Life is great when you realize you are (still) capeable of surprising yourself.
 - from American Beauty


Let me be frank, I can't find anything being best about getting older in comparison to being younger. Yes, I do know myself a lot better & many many elements of life & living, I'm able to approach in a much more relaxed way compared to when I was about a decade younger. On the other hand, or should I say, the downside of being older & wiser means I don't get to jump boldly into ventures I haven't fully thought through, make a fool of myself & get a great laugh out of it. I am now able to foresee most consequences of my actions & acting out in emotionally immature ways have long ago become tedious. I am forced to raise the bar to keep myself entertained. I even prefer to know the other person well before I get carried away in the heights of passion. I mean, honestly, how boring is that?  And another thing, yes my face now has a lot more character & the lines makes the rain run off my face easier & going braless means pulling off the wrinkles in a flash, but I still like my former nickname babyface better than old cramp. An interesting aspect to pondering this subject, is that I do not feel older. I'm deeply puzzled when I nod off at 9:30 pm on the couch & turn slightly blue in the face when sprinting for the bus. Maybe my nature is permanently immature or my levels of denial are hitting the roof, I just don't get it that I'm actually middleaged & likely have lived longer than I'm about to in the future.

Ofcourse, none of this matters as I have also evolved into a highly spiritual person with such deep awareness of my reality, that I have lost any sense of time being fully immersed in the now. tsk.



Flying Bag - American Beauty




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Tagged with: Q&R, age, aging, maturity

What is your favorite role to play?

Posted on Oct 31st, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 31, 2009:


    It's Halloween, which means dressing up for many.
    What persona do you most frequently adopt?
    What's your favorite mask or role?
 


When it comes to dressing up, I have more than a little difficulty picking a favorite role. I love them all, from gorilla to marie antoinette, indiana jones, marilyn, ninja warrior.

I still have my fave mask brought home from Venice that I designed the most amazing costume for and how I loved strutting about like a fine venetian aristocrat, that is until I fell asleep drunk on a table.

The pippi longstockings costume I wore when I was nine, is probably the one I adored the most. I identified so strongly with her chutzpah, independence, playfulness, big teeth and unique dresscode. Oh to be able to lift horses, jump on roofs in a flash and live like a pirate.




According to Jung we have but one persona to adopt, that is if we manage to distinguish ourselves from the ego instead of ending up being adopted by the facade we carry around. There are ofcuz many roles available for the persona to play, chosen consciously or acted out in oblivion. For obvious reasons I can't go into the latter and I'm sure anyone who knows me well could list a few. Of the conscious ones, I like the one wearing the mr fix it cap. Gotta problem? let me solve it for you. You don't even need to ask, I'm perfectly capeable of taking the initiative on that one. What you say? You don't need me to fix your problems? ..too late, I'm in the zone and there's no stopping me.

Blessed be that role, oozing competence, basking about in the glorious illusion of being in control.. of other people's lives. Hiding under the mr fix it cap comes especially handy when my own life is running amok. In addition I get to be the caring  and supporting friend, the one that can be trusted to lean on when the shit hits the fan. And please, do suck every drop of energy out of me, drain me totally and give me the perfect excuse to not deal with my own stuff. The paradox being more often than not, that I play that very role when I feel like a lil scared one who could do with someone to lean on for support. The moments, and sometimes extended moments, where I can't seem to tap into that magical feeling of being courageous and absolutely invinceable behind the freckles, self supporting braids and mismatching socks.. Pippi, can you heeaar me?



    There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask.
    Collette


Halloween! - Bobby Pickett - Monster Mash - (HD Stereo)



  

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Tagged with: Q&R, mask, persona, self, ego

Who in your life have you underestimated?

Posted on Oct 13th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 13, 2009:


Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by actions or words from someone
whom you didn't think had it in them?





I see us humans as bundles of potential & capabilities, equipped with maps made of values & beliefs to guide us through our territories. Sometimes values & beliefs have a restricting effect & causes the misperception that one's territory is much smaller than it actually is. Vast spaces of opportunity to become the best version of ourselves are available, albeit sometimes hidden, it is there, up for grabs. We all have it in us. 

Attempting to estimate another would be a wild guess at best & judging based on limited perception at worst. Which of course hasn't stopped me from doing both. Still, plenty of room left for surprises. As I choose to see the best in others & possibly had a tendency to overestimate on occasion, my surprises have been of the unpleasant kind. Which on the other hand has taught me to not underestimate the predictability of human stupidity. Now, there's a foolproof pattern if there ever was one. The more interesting aspect is the desire to repeat the pattern. Wherein lies the gratification of doing stupid things over & over I wonder?

Back to the bundles of.. & the question at hand, yes an abundance of pleasant actions & words has come my way from kind, caring people, who open their hearts & share their joy effortlessly. I appreciate how we can deepen & grow, uncovering unknown territory within & letting our light shine for each other. I am in awe of our capacity for love.


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Tagged with: Q&R, assessment, judgment, surprise

What would you most like to see changed in the world?

Posted on Oct 7th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for October 07, 2009:







   
   the reluctance to share recourses.

   it saddens me that a child dies of hunger every six seconds &
   one billion people do not have clean water to drink
   in a world wealthy beyond belief.



  photo: water to the world from www.ashesandsnow.org

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Tagged with: Q&R, change, world, planet, humanity

Is your birth name the name that's "yours"?

Posted on Sep 20th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for September 20, 2009:







The short answer: no. 

-And if you really want to know: my birth name was bitten schelde hansen & growing up in the southern part of denmark, our lingo would suffer the occasional inspiration from german, so my first nick was bitschenlein which translates to lil bit. Not to be confused with the english word bitch, that particular nick was thrown in for good measure later. I'll get back to that. During college years I had the pleasure of being called baby face, benjamin cuz I was the youngest & bitschenlein morphed into bits. 

I partly changed my sir name to my mother's maiden name a few years after my father died. His family were not the nicest people & I didn't feel comfortable being linked to that crowd, so I changed from schelde hansen to hansen bisgaard & out into the big world I went, bitten hansen bisgaard, still nicked as bits. I bumped into an australian on a ferry boat from brindisi to corfu & accidently married him a couple of years later. This caused another name change to bitten bisgaard griffiths, my nick to shorten into bit with a certain someone occasionally adding -ch. The name bitten also had the fun sideeffect of making aussies burst into spontaneously singing 'once bitten, twice shy', what a hoot that was.. the first few mths. 

The aussie prince eventually morphed into a frog & my name got buffed down to bitten bisgaard. Legally, the hansen bit was still there, but only used when signing official papers. 'Keeping it simple' was slowly sliding into my life, to be followed by a nationwide trend of cutting one's sir name down to a letter, which made me bitten b. for a while. My first name had long ago lost it's appeal to me due to the lack of meaning behind it. Appearently it's a french nick for brigitte & that's all there is to it. I'd been toying with names like Cecilia & a variety of old nordic names, none of which really felt like me. I find that changing one's first name to be a rather big deal, (although not legally, in dk it's easy & free), there's a specific energy attached to a name so it has to be a snug fit.

I chose my current name after having gone through a long dark night of the soul. The tibetan goddess of compassion, greenheart tara, was my inspiration. Emerging from the muddy waters into a new beginning called for a symbolic ritual. The major new insight being the knowledge that it was high time to start treating myself with kindness & compassion, tara is the perfect reminder to keep doing just that. I found my snug fit. Some of you do notice that I write my name with a t rather than a T ( thank you for that, big letters come across to me as somewhat bombastic aka less aesthetic, hence the choice). I decided to alert the less observant by using the monicker 'tara -with a little t' a while back & some witty gais still call me little t on occasion. cute. 

To get on the good side of my grandmother (she dislikes change as much as I adore it), I added rosted to my name. It means quiet place & I quite like that. It's her mother's middle name, but it had no effect. She still calls me bitten with a stubborn frown. So much for that. tara rosted bisgaard. I don't use rosted much, pronounced in english with a hard d, (in danish it's a soft d like the spanish one) it sounds like roasted & makes me think of chicken. Try not to think of chicken when you say the word rosted.

- Amazing what's in a name, it's really just a word, a compilation of letters, a form, a sound, & can also hold a lot of meaning in one's mind as it does in mine. I love my name, the way it sounds & makes me feel, & mostly that I chose tara for me. 


Antony And The Johnsons 'Kiss My Name' 2009




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Tagged with: Q&R, names, naming, real name, snippets of life story, antony and the johnsons

What experiences do you think are important for children to have?

Posted on Sep 18th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for September 18, 2009:







   to be looked at with kind, loving eyes & given accept, appreciation & attention.

   same thing goes for adults btw.


   I would define love very simply: as a potent blend of openness and warmth, 
   which allows us to make real contact, to take delight in and appreciate, 
   and to be at one with- our selves, others, and life itself. 

   openness - the heart's pure, unconditional yes- is love's essence. 

   and warmth is love's basic expression, arising as a natural
   extension of this yes- the desire to reach out and touch,
   connect with, and nourish what we love.




Leonard Cohen - Love Itself






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Tagged with: Q&R, experiences, childhood, love is the answer, great quotes, john welwood, leonard cohen

fantasy revisited

Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for September 15, 2009:

If you could take the next month off, what would you do?


For real?  I'd have to pass. The next months are offering me a great opportunity to train for a new line of work in Human Resources & I'm soo excited! I love learning & I can't wait to fill my brain with new knowledge & getting more tools to play with, yay! Not even the fact that this incarnated Macbabe fan is going to be firing up the PC! & diving into the world of word & other unknown microsoft entities on a daily base, is causing her to pause. I might involuntarily break out in hives due to excessive PC exposure & have to apply ointments, but I'll cope. 





Hypothetically?  All obligations paused (add big bag of money), I would soo be travelling. I'm restlessly restless, aching to be highly adventurous & most of all, dying to meet you my gorgeous friends. First stop would be Portugal for a taste of Victoria's vision, Barbados for some frolicking on the beach with Sherri, then off to Canada (Yo! Bridget & mimi) & finally cruising the U.S. I imagine a cross country drive popping in for a face2face with each lovely soul I've come to know & adore these past 2 1/2 yrs on Gaia. Too many Americans to mention & if this flight of fantasy was for real, I'd say, get ready for a surprise visit soonish. And a certain someone in a village in England, who serves up scones with strawberry jam & cream for afternoon tea, can put on the kettle too. Now, add a couple more months & you're looking at a word picture perfect of tara dreaming.. Ooh, that travel bug has a distinctive bite.


Bj




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Tagged with: QaR, month, break, vacation, time, wishful thinking, fab vids, bjork

the truth & beauty of reality

Posted on Aug 26th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for August 26, 2009:

What was the last thing that touched your heart?



[ presence ]




A new friend who took the time to not only really listen to me, but also shared some stories from her own life, with much resemblance to my own experiences. Her empathy & her choice to trust me with her personal pain touched my heart. Sometimes sharing holds the greatest comfort & makes the feeling of fundamental aloneness embraceable.

I spent time last week delighting in many a short film during the 20'th something OFF, Odense Film Festival. It's amazing how strong an impact a story of 6 min's can have & how deeply moved I would feel coming out of the cinema, having to sit quietly for a while after to digest the narratives. It struck me how several of the films told the story of how a single moment, a decision, one mistake, can become a pivotal & life changing event in a human's existence.

One of the films, Side by Side, told a real story about two neighbours who hadn't spoken with each other for almost 20 years due to a simple misunderstanding. Both of them feeling sure they knew the truth & never bothered to investigate further. Instead they put up 2 hedges between them to ensure they wouldn't have to communicate. The story unravels what really happened & ends with one of the men apologizing to the other, who instantly forgives him. That one opened up a flood of tears & a feeling of gratitude, of reassurement that essentiel goodness is the heart of human nature.

A film maker shared waiting time till the next screening & whilst, he entertained with telling stories. Stories that had captured him, or merely a sequence in the story that he felt had something deeper hidden he wanted to explore visually. His passion for his work & the compassion he felt for people in the stories he shared, touched me & made me feel yet again how creativity is at the core of one's life force.

No thing moves me more than another human's true presence. The willingness & the capacity to open the heart to whatever is, sharing passion, pain, loneliness, the pure delight of being alive & the comfort of silence when words become redundant. We are amazing creatures who shine so brilliantly bright when we give each other the present of presence. Love, truth & beauty holds their breath when souls dance in the intimate delicacy of reality shared.




photo from flickr by flavio

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Tagged with: QaR, compassion, heart, beauty truth reality

How do you feel about your life in this moment?

Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for August 12, 2009:


I feel....   oops! - there goes the moment  ('o')
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Tagged with: Q&R, life, feelings, present

human be[do]ing

Posted on Aug 2nd, 2009 by tara : samana tara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for August 02, 2009:



[ green dream by anne lepke ]




Do I know what I am here for?
I am here to love & be loved, be compassionate & supportive,
to laugh, dance, learn, evolve, share & be inspiring..



Do I know why am I here?  No.



Do I have a sense for what it is I'm meant to be doing?
I don't think there is a preset meaning to me being here & if I came with a to do list, someone misplaced it. The egomind thrives on the notion of self importance, which could be why the idea exists to begin with. I can however use that to my advantage by creating a life with meaning. As a human, I am more of a nuisance than of benefit to this planet's eco system, so what I can do, is to make as little mess as possible while I go about curiously experiencing my reality as it unfolds..




Choir of Young Believers - "Action/Reaction"




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Tagged with: QaR, purpose, meaning, mission
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